How to pretend to speak Portuguese:
1. Translate desired phrase into Portuguese as much as possible
2. If a word is unknown in Portuguese, say the Spanish word and hope it's close enough to be understood (9 times out of 10 it is)
3. If a word is unknown in both Portuguese and Spanish, either say it in English or leave it out completely
4. Speak slowly and in an accent that is supposed to be Brazilian but is in reality more like Kermit the Frog
5. Add charades
Like I said, I don't speak Portuguese. But surprisingly, this method works 99% of the time.
Although the other day I needed to convey that one of the kids was pooping, but I didn't know the word for it so I was stuck with charades. That was something I certainly never expected to check off my bucket list! Haha.
I've never been in a place where I needed a language so much. In Mexico, we had translators with us at all times. In Denmark, I encountered a grand total of one person who didn't speak English. Here in Brazil though, I've only met a total of 7 people who can speak English, so it's kind of necessary to know it to talk with anyone outside of that.
I've started volunteering at a place where NOBODY speaks English. There are tons of kids there, and they are all super curious and will bombard me with questions. Sometimes I understand and can answer, but sometimes I simply don't know a word that is vital to the question, so I can't. It's interesting to see how different people respond to this. Some people laugh and hug me; some people just give up and go do something else; some people speak louder and louder because that's probably why I can't understand; some people repeat the question 15 times even after I have expressed in multiple ways that I don't have the necessary knowledge to answer; some people get this very disappointed look and just stare at me while my heart breaks.
I've discovered that there is nothing in this world that physically hurts my brain more than spending 3 hours having multiple kids talk to me rapidly and in a foreign language at the same time. My brain just fries. It would be a challenge even if they were speaking English, but in Portuguese I don't stand a chance!
There are many people, though, who are willing to slow down their speech and act out their words to converse with me. I am SO appreciative of these people! It's so much better than remaining strangers!
Something that really surprised me about Portuguese is that things are said very differently than in English, so a direct translation often makes no sense. Somebody asked me a question the other day and I understood every single word individually, but the question still made no sense to me at all. I never imagined that could happen! For example, "everybody" is said as "todo mundo," which directly translates to "all world." I guess this is logical, but it would be bizarre to say in English "all the world danced" referring to the 20 people at the party...
Questions are hard, because I have to make sure I understand completely so as to not give any drastically false information (after accidentally telling somebody the other day that I have kids, I'm a bit more wary!) Statements are easier though, because I can generally grasp the main idea, then use the tone to decide in what manner I should respond.
It's definitely a journey, and I'm so appreciative that the people I encounter here are happy that I'm trying, rather than frustrated by my mistakes (although I'm sure they're frustrated on the inside!)
I hope you are all having wonderful days! And if you have time, start learning a foreign language, it'll be very worth it someday!
Tchau Todo Mundo(:
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